Ignored, Attacked Or Fetishised: The Many Frustrations Of Dating Apps For Women Of Colour

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She had swiped through a lot of men in her three years of using the app. But when she walked into a south London pub for their first date, she was surprised at how genuinely nice he was. She never imagined that four years on they would be engaged and planning their wedding during a pandemic. Aditi, from Newcastle, is of Indian heritage and Alex is white. Their story is not that common, because dating apps use ethnicity filters, and people often make racial judgements on who they date.

However, the year-old remembers one occasion when a man opened the conversation by telling her how much he liked Indian girls and how much he disliked Sri Lankan and Bangladeshi girls. Earlier this month, in light of the death of George Floyd, many corporations and brands, dating apps among them, pledged their support for BlackLivesMatter. Following a widespread petition against its skin-tone filter, South Asian marriage site Shaadi.

Match, which owns Hinge and Tinder, has retained the ethnicity filter across several of its platforms. Elena Leonard, who is half Tamil, half Irish, deleted Hinge as she found the filter problematic. When the year-old went on a date with a Tamil guy, naturally she mentioned she was Tamil, too. Professor Binna Kandola, senior partner at workplace psychology consultancy Pearn Kandola, suggests getting people to express an opinion about their ethnic preferences is perpetuating racial stereotypes.

Ali, a British-Arab journalist in his early twenties, felt he was sometimes fetishised when using the app. While chatting to a SOAS student, he was only asked questions about his ethnicity despite spending the majority of his childhood in London.

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